Reaching Out
by Redster
Summary: After the Department of Mysteries incident, Tonks and Lupin find themselves 'reaching out' in their pain. this is my first fanfic there is more to come. please give reviews!
1. Awakening

A/N: JK Rowling owns it all. This is my first fanfic EVER so don't be too harsh, but I would love a lot of feedback!

Setting: just after the Department of Mysteries incident Tonks is now in St.Mungo's

Tonks' eyes were very heavy, but she was awake all the same. She could hear high heeled shoes walking across a hard wood floor, someone coughing, a mattress squeaking and not too far away gentle breathing as though someone were sleeping.

Tonks slowly opened her eyes and was looking at golden bubbles bunched together. She went to sit up to see where she was, but the second she did so every inch of her body was in pain, she whimpered from it, after which the gentle breathing stop and she heard footsteps hurried closer to her. A face appeared before her eyes, a very tired, unshaven face. Lupin had just come to her side and sat on the bed next to her.

"Tonks?" he said softly  
"Wotcher, Remus." Tonks whispered

Lupin never took his eyes off of hers as he spoke again, this time a little louder "Ms. Dekatter, she's awake." He said with a small smile on his face.

"Where am I?" Tonks asked in a weak voice. She suddenly felt her bed being gently moved to a sitting position.   
"St. Mungo's dear," said Ms. Dekatter (she was the owner of the high heeled shoes) "here you go." She handed Tonks a small mug.  
Tonks sniffed the liquid inside of it and asked, "What's this?"  
"Something that'll make that pain you have, feel a bit better," said Ms. Dekatter "Drink up now, Nymphadora" 

Tonks sighed, and rolled her eyes at the sound of her own name."It's Tonks," said Lupin in his low raspy voice "just Tonks."  
At this Tonks gave a little smirk and drank from her cup. The relief was like she had just stepped into a hot bath. Tonks put the cup down on the nightstand table beside her bed.  
"You want to be finishing that or the pain will be coming back sooner" said Ms. Dekatter "I will" said Tonks as Ms. Dekatter walked away.

Tonks looked back at Lupin whose eyes seemed brighter and wet."What's wrong?" she asked"For a minute there I thought I ... we lost you." He said. He touched her hand that was at her side lightly, Tonks could tell that something was wrong.

"Is everyone alright?" Tonks asked. Something was definitely troubling Lupin and Tonks could see it now. Lupin took a deep breath and began to speak. "Some of the students from Hogwarts ended up in the hospital wing, Hermione Granger is still there I believe."  
"And the Order?" Tonks interrupted.  
"You are the only one that ended up in St. Mungo's." Lupin said.  
"I am the worse case then eh?" Tonks said with a smile.

For the first time since she awoke Lupin's gaze turned from her, and Tonks knew what this meant. Her smile faded.  
"No." she whispered, and Lupin nodded slightly.  
"Who?" asked Tonks.  
Lupin squeezed her hand looked at her, with tears in his eyes and whispered  
"Sirius" 

Tonks breath caught in her chest, it seemed as if she had forgotten how to breathe completely. Tears began to stream down her face. Lupin pulled her into his chest and kissed her head. The pain was starting to creep slowly back into her body, it hurt, Tonks had to admit that, but nothing was as painful at that moment than the piece of her heart that was breaking for her dear cousin.

Lupin released his embrace ever so slightly, and when he did Tonks only held him a little tighter. The pain didn't hurt as much with someone so close by. Tonks sobbed softly into Lupin's shoulder, she felt his hand cradle her head, then gently slide to her back, rubbing up and down trying to calm her.

Lupin slowly leaned Tonks back onto her bed and picked up the cup on her nightstand. "Drink," he set the cup in her hands, Tonks noticed his hands were shaking vaguely. "the pain is back in your body, I know you feel it" She drank, but the relief that she felt before was not the same, not as satisfying.

Tonks felt as though her tears would never stop. She looked up at Lupin, who was looking at the floor and she saw one tear fall from his face. 'How selfish I am,' she thought 'Remus loved him just as much, if not more then I did. They were best friends.' Tonks emptied her cup and set it back on the table. The silence that had penetrated the room was too much to swallow.

"Remus," she said, he looked up at her "I don't want to be here"

Lupin looked into her eyes for a moment then stood up. "I'll see what I can do" he said as he leaned over and lightly kissed her forehead, then he walked over to Ms. Dekatter.

Tonks knew that she would probably be in that bed for awhile longer, but she felt safer with Lupin there. She knew that whatever happened he wouldn't let anything happen to her.


	2. Returning Home

Tonks stared at Lupin, who was talking to Ms. Dekatter (about Tonks' release.) Though Tonks couldn't hear their conversation, she could clearly see it wasn't a pleasant one. Lupin had a very determined look on his face, and Ms. Dekatter kept shaking her head. Lupin turned from Ms. Dekatter and started walking toward Tonks; Ms Dekatter quickly followed scolding behind him.

"What's going on?" Tonks asked Lupin as he reached her bed.

"You don't want to stay and I am not going to be the one that forces you to." He pulled down her blankets, then took off his cloak and put it around her.

Ms Dekatter caught up with him, dreadfully put out, "Sir, Ms. Tonks needs an exceedingly complicated potion every hour for three days to keep the pain from coming back," she said "it's not some simple tonic you can pick up at 'The Leaky Cauldron."

Lupin turned back to Ms. Dekatter, "the name of the potion?" he asked

"Sir, this is not a trifle soup, it can only be brewed by the most skilled of potions masters" said Ms. Dekatter in a particular offended tone.

"Then it is a good thing that I know one" said offhandedly while pointing his wand at an empty cup on Tonks' bedside table and mumbled 'portus.' He then turned back to Tonks, hooked his arms under her legs and around her waist lifting her off the bed. "The Potion Ms Dekatter," Lupin calmly demanded. Ms Dekatter looked as though she were battling with her own conscience.

"She's not staying whether you give me the name of the potion or not," Lupin continued and then softened his tone "but it would do better for her if you just tell me." Ms. Dekatter finally gave in and with a sigh said "Benextine."

With his wand still in his hand under Tonks' legs he pointed it at the cup and performed the levitating spell on it, he flipped his wand around, freeing one of his fingers "on three then," he said looking at Tonks "one, two, three." Tonks felt a hook around her navel and the next thing she knew they both landed in Grimmauld Place.

The port key had separated Tonks and Lupin from each other, Tonks landed on her feet but her knees gave way and she began to fall when she felt Lupin's hands grab her around her waist. Tonks got a hold around his neck and he picked her up once more.

"You alright?" he asked. Tonks nodded.

"I'm sorry Remus," she said.

"For what?"

"For giving you so much trouble."

Lupin began to walk through the hall to the bedchambers and gave a dismissive chuckle.

"You gave me trouble when you could walk… Nymphadora" he said with a small playful smile. Tonks glared at him. "Don't look at me like that," he said "I will carry you when you can't walk and I'll catch you when you can… if you call that walking."

"Just because I am a bit clumsy-"Tonks protested, but Lupin cut her off. "A bit clumsy?"

"OY," a voice came from the kitchen "who's that?" Mundungus walked out of the kitchen holding an apple. "Tonks? What's going on? Thought you were in St. Mungo's then?"

"Someone broke me out," she said looking at Lupin.

"Taken a page out of my book, are we Remus?" said Mundungus.

"You could say that Dung" said Lupin, he turned and started climbing up the staircase. They reached Lupin's room. Inside Lupin laid Tonks on his bed and removed his cloak that he had put around her earlier.

"I'm going to owl Severus," he said "hopefully he can make the potion and we can get it in your system within the hour." He turned and headed for the door.

"Remus," Tonks stopped him. He looked at her. "Thank you." She said quietly with a tone of pain "not just for bringing me here but… but for telling me about Sirius…. I don't think I would have been able to take it as well if it hadn't been you who told me."

Lupin slowly walked to the bed, sat down on the edge and brushed a strand of bubble gum pink hair out of her eyes. "Sirius loved you like an older brother, Tonks" he murmured.

Tonks reached up and ran her fingers through his slightly graying hair and rested her hand on the back of his neck. "You _were_ his brother, Remus. No one can deny that."

Lupin gave a mournful smile and rubbed his hand on Tonks' wrist. He then pulled her hand to his mouth and planted a kiss in her palm. "I have an owl to send" he said. He stood up and gave her hand one final squeeze and walked to the door. "Get some sleep" he said as he closed the door behind him.

Tonks listened to his footsteps fade down the staircase. As soon as she was sure he was out of audible range she winced, pulled her knees into her chest and groaned. The pain had returned but Tonks did not want Lupin to worry more. He seemed on the edge as it was, and she didn't want to be the one to push him any further.

A/N: ok ok ok I know what you are all thinking "this is in the romance section, why?" don't worry I just had to get exposition out of the way and then you will get the fun stuff!


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